The Christian Pulisic Blog

The first thing I need to do for this post is apologize. Apologize because I claim to have a blog dedicated to Christian Pulisic (or as his name means in Croatian, "the risen one"), AND I DIDN'T EVEN POST A REVIEW OF THE MAN UNITED CHELSEA GAME. What kind of fan am I? But there's actually not much to say with regard to Pulisic in the Man U game. He played ok. Not great. Not terrible. Didn't really do much of note. He had maybe one good run, two if you count the one I think he had in the final minute or so. But when you're down four nil, what does a last minute run mean? It means everything, actually. Because CP never stops fighting. As for the Liverpool game, well ok, that's a different story. Christian had a goal disallowed by a late offside call. He had an assist. And he was a freaking animal out there the way he fought.  It's obvious Christian thinks he belongs. It's obvious he wants to show he belongs. And after seeing these first tw...

Christian Pulisic's former Borussia Dortmund teammate Jadon Sancho is set to have his second break out season in a row, if that's even possible, which it definitely is because that's how good this adult it. I say adult because Jadon Sancho is over the hill at 18 years, nipping at Kylian Mbappes's heels like an Irish Wolfhound for the title of Best Under 20 Footballer (baller) in der Welt. Jadon Sancho. Do not forget that name. Right now he's toiling in relative obscurity because, let's face it, the Bundesliga is a bit like the minor leagues compared to the Premier League. But Sancho, of course, will be back (he was once part of Man City), and when he does make it back to the Premier League, stars will explode. This adult's talent is unreal. He grew up literally playing in alleys in London, and it shows in his almost obscene comfortableness on the ball. The way he toys with defenders, as if they were toys. The way he toys with the ball, as if it were a t...

Almost all the previews are in. Almost all of them DON'T have Ross Barkley understand it. But I'm not going to talk too much about that today, because that's what I talked about in the last post. I guess at least one outlet predicts Ross Barkley will start. Gotta love "football.london." That's where I go for all my footballing news. In related news, I'm drinking black tea mixed with almond milk right now. It's my second cup of the day. Out of solidarity for Christian Pulisic and his new surroundings, I have completely stricken coffee from my diet, at least for the next three hours. Christian, as the last day dawns before your first ever match in the Premier League, we are thinking of you. You will probably start tomorrow. If you don't start, you will at least definitely play. You've been waiting for this day your whole life. The whole world has been waiting (in Buddhism each person is essentially the world; conversely, I could consider my...

Remember that scene in Game of Thrones where Jon Snow is facing down all of Ramsey Bolton's army, standing there with his sword, facing certain annihilation? I feel like that's a bit like what Chelsea is facing against Manchester United in their first game of the Premiership this season, this Sunday at 8:30am United States west coast time. Why would I give you west coast time? Well, first of all because I love the west coast. Second of all because I live on the west coast. And third of all because I'm a mariner. Friends, I live on a sailboat. The sea is my companion. When I wake up I don't think about Greenwich mean time. I think about the west coast. I think about bull kelp. And I also think about Cha Boi. Speaking of Cha Boi, most media outlets seem to think that he will start on Sunday. Christian Pulisic, who just last year was struggling for minutes in the Bundesliga, will probably start on Sunday against, what, the biggest football team in existence? Is that hyp...

I wish Christian Pulisic's middle name was actually "Mate," mostly because I'm sitting on a balcony in the beautiful city of Vancouver right now drinking mate. But it's actually Mâte, although I think the diacritic would be upside down, but either way the point I'm failing to make is that the pronunciation would be different. Christian has a Croatian passport. This is what allowed him to play for Dortmund at such a young age. There were actually a LOT of factors that allowed Christian to play at Dortmund at such a young age. For example, Sven Mislintat. From what I can gather, a Dortmund scout (I'm assuming Mislintat) was in Turkey for the U-17 Aegean cup back in 2014 (?). But they were actually there to watch Haji Wright. The thing that's so interesting is that Haji actually played well. It's not like he played terrible and Christian stole the show. But Dortmund saw something in Christian. They pursued him. And because his grandfather was Croatia...

The first thing we need to talk about is the name "Mönchengladbach." I'm no German scholar, though I am actually a bit because I've studied German to the B2 level and have spent a fair amount of time in the Motherland. I also dated a German girl, though we won't talk about that. Let's just say it ended with me fleeing to Hamburg and possible the employment of the word "cowardice." Mönchengladbach. Really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it, like the way things would roll off your tongue if you'd been gagged or had a sock jammed in your mouth (we're no longer talking about the German girl). The word "bach" means "stream" in German but that's about all I've been able to decipher of this daunting nomenclature. I like to think it means something along the lines of "stream munching." I am (not?) a linguist. What do we need to know about BM? Does Fabian Johnson still play for them? Maybe. I'm too lazy...

It's been a loooooooong time since I've posted, but don't think I haven't been thinking about cha boi, aka the heathen from Hershey, aka the puma from PA, etc etc. I'm talking about Christian Pulisic (sic). Cha boi plays for Chelsea now. Hopefully if you're even remotely a football fan you're aware of this. And today something momentous happened, aka Cha boi scored his first goals in a Chelsea kit. Now, I know what all of you are thinking: How is it possible that Trader Joe's shrimp spring rolls only cost $4.49? Or that they have little cans of matcha. I'm fasting today, so this is what I'm thinking about. I'm also thinking about that goal between Christian Pulisic and Ross Barkley.  PULISIC SCORES HIs SECOND. pic.twitter.com/rnVfkV4DVT — USMNT Only (@usmntonly) July 31, 2019 I did this weird thing today where I actually watched the game. See, I live on a boat now, and I don't own a computer. Similar to Kevin Costner in Wat...

Question: How many of you wake up in the morning wondering the following: Is Florian Kohfeldt clinically insane? I say this because he's seemed to take a very disturbing stance. That stance is, "I have one of the best strikers in the world, the best American striker to have ever lived, and thus access to THE biggest emerging market in football, and yet...I'm not going to play him. And not only am I not going to play him...I'm going to the taunt the world with the prospect that I will play him, only to continually back out at the last second." And so, I ask again: Is Florian Kohfeldt clinically insane? I wanted to move to Bremen. Before I came to Vienna, Austria, on an unseasonably warm day back in October, I actually wanted to go to Bremen. And the reason I want to go to Bremen was simple: Josh Sargent. But then I started looking for language schools. And I couldn't find any (or at least any that sounded good). So I gave up on the idea of going to Bremen,...

🛫 Ready for departure. Nächstes Ziel: Stuttgart. #VFBBVB pic.twitter.com/dl2o5kf40S — Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) 19. Oktober 2018 OK, so I've watched this video about 60 times and can't figure out what the dude says to Christian when he gives him his ticket. Sounds kinda like "Gut, danke" but that would be a bit ridiculous. Definitely not "Gute Reise." I'm stumped. Native German speakers I need you. 

So here's the deal. Im gonna try to be as succinct as possible, which will be impossible because this subject gets me kinda fired up. Whats the subject? Listen, will you just slow down a second. I just met you. This is moving too fast. And thats obviously a personal question. Everything written on this blog is personal. For example, I had a date the other night with a girl named Elle. We walked around the center of Vienna, and then we got tea. There was a magnetic connection between us in that there was almost no connection between us. Did I make her laugh? Obviously. I can usually make girls laugh. Did we have a baby? Not yet. Sorry I blacked out for a second there. Where were we. I was talking about my life. Yes. As if you were interested. Its a gorgeous day here in Vienna. The sun is....shining. And Im in an internet cafe, listening to the Lord of the Rings sountrack. Dont ask why. I dont even like the lord of the rings movies. But I do like classical music, and this is some ...

Hello friends and lovers, And welcome to another rambling post from yours truly, Mark Thomas, dictator for life here at Straight Outta Hershey, the only damn blog in the damn universe dedicated to the one and only Christian Pulisic. So I'm sitting in my Airbnb in Vienna, Austria right now, drinking a Turkish tea that the girl whose apartment this is made. Of course it's making me feel nauseous since I'm drinking it on an empty stomach. And now I've just switched the keyboard over to US English, which means the y and z keys are back where they're supposed to be, and this is contributing to my upset stomach. To top it all off I have dandruff. And my stomach is messed up from a weird doner I ate the other day. Or possibly some Tom Kha Gai soup. I'm not sure which one. But I'm in Vienna, and today I start level B1.2 of my intensive German course. Hell yeah. Intensive German. I hope there are some cuties in my class. I've sent about 20 messages on okcu...

Friends, Today's post will be a little different, as I will not only be commenting on Wednesday's Champions League extravaganza between Borussia Dortmund (all hail their name) and Monaco, but also the upcoming USMNT friendlies Christian Pulisic is slated to participate in, along with some bald guy who's not very good at soccer. Christian Pulisic is back on the new USMNT roster—and so are Michael Bradley and Brad Guzan https://t.co/sTQgsitQN1 — Grant Wahl (@GrantWahl) October 1, 2018 I don't want to go into this too much, so that's all I'm going to say: Michael Bradley is a kook. He's been the worst USMNT player for a long time. He's one of the key reasons the USMNT has been bad over the last six or so years. And now they're bringing him back? Good one, Dave Sarachan. Really showing you know something about the game. Good one, US Soccer. Why don't we bring back Jozy Altidore too, then? And Clint Dempsey? And Landon Donovan? Why don't ...

Embed from Getty Images  Hello everybody! Hello Pulisic fans! Hello Jadon Sancho fans! Hello Marco Reus fans! Marius Wolf fans, you can find a different website, because there is nothing for you here! Mario Gotze fans, I wish there was something for you here, but because Lucien Favre seems to have some kind of vendetta against the metabolism problem-plagued Gotze, there's nothing for you here, either. Whew. Let's get to the ratings. Actually, first though, let's talk about my upcoming flight to VIENNA, AUSTRIA. I've put that in caps because I'm so damned excited. I'm going to be studying intensive German for TWO MONTHS! In a city I've NEVER BEEN TO BEFORE. Right next to SLOVAKIA! And HUNGARY! God, Hungary girls look beautiful. Anyway, now to the ratings. Actually though first what I REALLY wanted to comment about was how I'm flying Swiss Airways to Vienna and I really, really want to somehow upgrade to business or first class. I know the chanc...

Embed from Getty Images Dortmund played Bayer Leverkusen today in Leverkusen in the most exciting match of matchday six. I didn't know how to feel about it, however, much like I don't know how I feel about this blog moving to wordpress.com. I really don't like Wordpress themes. They all look the same. They're all ugly. And so I think I might be going back to Blogger. Hopefully you will follow me there. The reason I didn't know how to feel about today's game was because even though the game was thrilling, and Dortmund came from behind, and from a Dortmund fan perspective the game was a 10 out of 10, from a Pulisic fan perspective it was a bit of a letdown because not only did he not play that well, he was also was subbed off in the 60th minute. And so I felt kind of how a dad might feel if he was watching his son's violin concert, making eyes with the cute mom of the girl who plays the cello from across the aisle. On the one hand it's titillating...

Embed from Getty Images  Before we talk about tomorrow's showdown between Borussia Dortmund and Bayer Leverkusen, can we do one thing? Can we talk about how happy Christian Pulisic looks in the above picture? Look at him, sitting on the grass, wedged between Axel Witsel and Thomas Delaney. Look at the tattoo of a tiger on his forearm. Look at the fact that his entire left arm is tattooed, despite the fact he's only 20 years old. And of course look at the fact that he's 20, when just a few scant weeks ago he was only 19. Our Hershey-grown boy is all grown up, it would seem. On his own on the perilous ride that is the most prestigious of German leagues, die Bundesliga. Dortmund and Bayer are both on a bit of a hot streak. Dortmund because they just beat Nurnberg 16,000 to 0, and Bayer because they've won two in a row, against Mainz and against newly-promoted Fortuna Dusseldorf. The game will certainly be a departure from what happened in the Dortmund Nurberg game,...

Embed from Getty Images  Hello Pulisic Fans, And hello Josh Sargent fans, too. If you're a Pulisic fan, and you're American, you're probably also a Josh Sargent fan. You'd have to be a fool not to be. Josh Sargent is a man-beast from Missouri who likes nothing other than to have red hair and score goals. His trademark celebration is something at the same time badass, at the same time simple, and at the same time unequivocally American: the salute. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJKMkOsC9_o] Wait, why did you just pass me the ball? Josh seems to be saying in this video. And then: I'm going to punish you. And then: I'm going to salute the crowd. And then: Tim Weah and I are going to hug and think about what a bright future the USMNT has, a future not marred by the presence of Michael Bradley, a future in which games against teams from small Caribbean islands will not be taken for granted, a future in which the US excels. But let's talk abou...

Hey Pulisic fans, Did Pulisic play soccer yesterday? I don't quite remember. I got up in the morning, went for a long jog, got the kids off to school, and then I just spent the whole rest of the day playing hearts and solitaire on the computer. At around 11:30am ODT time my leg started twitching, and I started breathing heavily, and I think I might've even started speaking in German, or maybe even Danish, but I wrote it off as some of the effects of the two months of sobriety I'm experiencing. Actually, at approximately that time (more like 11:39am PDT), this was happening: Jacob Bruun Larsen scores his first goal for Dortmund, but what about that set-up from Christian Pulisic? 👀 What an assist from the American! pic.twitter.com/Tb1BbCEMyL — FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) September 26, 2018 And of course I was watching it. In fact, I even got a trial subscription to YouTube TV just so I could get Fox Sports 2 and watch the showdown yesterday between Borussia Dortmun...

Hello Pulisic Fans, And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey Preview for today's blockbuster match between Borussia Dortmund and newly-promoted FC Nurnberg. A few fun facts about Nurnberg: It's the second largest city in Bavaria after Munich; its golden age came in the 1400s; it held special significance during the German Nazi Era. So obviously the first thing isn't great, since Bayern Munich is the scourge of the Bundesliga with players like Robben and Ribery; and the third thing isn't great either, for obvious reasons.  But let's talk about soccer. Let's talk about football. Let's talk about cricket. Let's talk about Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. And, maybe, let's talk about Christian Pulisic?  🤔 So könnten sie spielen. #BVBFCN pic.twitter.com/d4UJ7QZg2n — Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) September 25, 2018 Here's how  BVB's twitter account thinks BVB could line up today against Nurnberg. I find this interesting. No Mo Dahoud? Lucien Favre L...

Kagawa wastes this great run and delivery by Pulisic. pic.twitter.com/3oAjg4ubfl — Billy M (@Wideoverload) September 22, 2018 Hello Pulisic fans, and welcome to your one stop shop for all things not only Pulisic but also related to other American stars in the great German league commonly referred to as Die Bundesliga. You’ll notice that the word Bundesliga in German is feminine. I bring this up only because German genders are hot on my mind right now, since I’m going to Austria in a week to further hone my German skills and one of the first things I’ll have to do there is take a placement test. Will watching countless Dortmund press conferences in German have paid off? Hopefully. Only time will tell. Also, heute in Der Bundesliga.... It’s one thing to learn German. It’s another to learn it so well you rock the full native accent. Not bad at all Mr. Pulisic https://t.co/q71Y5slf3j — Ives Galarcep (@SoccerByIves) September 22, 2018 Before we talk about CP, I want to...

Hey friends, Guess what time it is? Time to get ultra fucking stoked, because today a special video came out: Christian Pulisic on Feiertagmagazin, speaking in German , generally being cooler than all of us. Case in point his outfit. Black shoes. A crisp white shirt. And a fucking black VEST. He looked like a blackjack dealer. A blackjack dealer who’s just turned 20, just scored a champions league goal, and is finally back after an agonizing two weeks of being out for an injury. Honestly christian appearing on BVB.tv is one of my favorite times of year.  What an inspiration, especially for someone (me) about to go to Austria to continue studying german. Now, you might be wondering: why Austria. Why not Germany? And that’s because it just felt right. I want to see what Austria’s all about. Hear the accent a bit. See Beethoven’s old stomping grounds. And of course try to make it to a BVB game. Anyway, tomorrow.  Hoffenheim. Christian will probably start. Dahoud will probabl...