It's been a loooooooong time since I've posted, but don't think I haven't been thinking about cha boi, aka the heathen from Hershey, aka the puma from PA, etc etc.
I'm talking about Christian Pulisic (sic).
Cha boi plays for Chelsea now. Hopefully if you're even remotely a football fan you're aware of this. And today something momentous happened, aka Cha boi scored his first goals in a Chelsea kit.
Now, I know what all of you are thinking: How is it possible that Trader Joe's shrimp spring rolls only cost $4.49? Or that they have little cans of matcha. I'm fasting today, so this is what I'm thinking about. I'm also thinking about that goal between Christian Pulisic and Ross Barkley.
I'm talking about Christian Pulisic (sic).
Cha boi plays for Chelsea now. Hopefully if you're even remotely a football fan you're aware of this. And today something momentous happened, aka Cha boi scored his first goals in a Chelsea kit.
Now, I know what all of you are thinking: How is it possible that Trader Joe's shrimp spring rolls only cost $4.49? Or that they have little cans of matcha. I'm fasting today, so this is what I'm thinking about. I'm also thinking about that goal between Christian Pulisic and Ross Barkley.
I did this weird thing today where I actually watched the game. See, I live on a boat now, and I don't own a computer. Similar to Kevin Costner in Waterworld minus the gills. Though one can dream. My sailboat, a beautiful Catalina 27, is moored in nine feet of Seattle's...PULISIC SCORES HIs SECOND.pic.twitter.com/rnVfkV4DVT— USMNT Only (@usmntonly) July 31, 2019
Sorry, got sidetracked. I'm drinking mate. Tends to happen.
Now, there are those out there who will say the following: today's game against RB Salzburg was only a friendly. RB Salzburg is from Austria, and they are the best team in Austria, but I'm also consistently the tallest dude when I ride the metro in Mexico City, and I'm not particularly tall. ¿Entiendes?
That control when Pulisic took that pass from Barkley. That pass from Barkley, perfectly weighted, like a jewel sitting against a woman's chest. That dink over the keeper. It gave me chills, though that also might've been my proximity to the lady in the library who was rummaging through her possessions and periodically yelling at people to see if they had a phone charger (I subscribed to ESPN + and watched the game at the library.)
Of course, Pulisic also scored another goal that was laser-guided into the corner, and drew a penalty after a big blond guy decided to kick his feet inside the box.
Things are looking ok for Chelsea. The real test will be Manchester United at the begining of August. Then we'll quickly find out if today's game was "just a friendly."
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