The Christian Pulisic Blog

It's been a long time since I posted anything. The reason for this is because I moved to Guadalajara, Mexico, and things have been kind of weird. I'm barely surviving. I'm teaching English classes for a painfully low amount. And I don't really know how it's going to change in the next few days, though I know something needs to change. BUT JESUS FUCKING SHIT, ENOUGH ABOUT ME, LET'S TALK ABOUT CHRISTIAN FUCKING PULISIC. So, I never talked about this "dunk": Don't forget, Christian Pulisic is 5'8" 😳 (via @cpulisic_10 ) pic.twitter.com/FfQw1kWOGP — Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) January 2, 2018 And the reason I didn't talk about it is because I don't really care. But one thing I will say is that I don't really believe it. Which is a little bit crazy, since Pulisic confirmed in a video the other day that the rim was indeed 10 feet. That's the part I don't really believe. Because it doesn't look like he j...

I'd like to write about Der Klassiker tomorrow between Borussia Dortmund and Bayern Munich, but I'm a little distracted by this video: The question, of course, is the following: Is this the best song of all time? And when I say all time I mean in all of recorded history, including Mozart and Beethoven and the song "One Night in Bangkok." And the answer: I think "yes." Anyway, Der Klassiker tomorrow. I will be doing player ratings for this game, so I'm sure all of the players will be trying their hardest to not have a low rating. The first question I have about this game is: Will Andrey Yarmolenko start on the right? And if the answer is "yes," then I have a second question: Why? Why start him on the right when you could start a guy who does this: Here’s Christian Pulisic’s game-winning goal for #BVB . Absolutely incredible touch on the flick. https://t.co/Y9W8K0YVaU — Jack Grimse (@JackGrimse) December 16, 2017 But anyway...

After the game last night against Real Madrid in which Borussia Dortmund lost 3-2, people were just a little -- a little  -- on Christian Pulisic's nuts about some of the amazing dribbles he made.  Pulisic gliding past 3 Real defenders like it's nothing. #bvb pic.twitter.com/zTonXR530t — Matt Waldoch (@ratatattatmatt) December 6, 2017 He did play well, but unfortunately none of his dribbles led to anything. That's been a theme this season: He's had many amazing dribbles, but most of them haven't led to assist or goals (and besides the USMNT I don't know if any of them have led to goals). But it will come. You can only beat so many defenders and deliver so many good passes before you or your teammates start to find the back of the net. Other impressions from last night game: Though Dortmund looked their usual selves during the first 15 minutes, they did play some great football for at least 30 min. of the game. Kagawa was, at times, masterful. Schme...

Tomorrow is the day Dortmund are finally going to turn it all around. Why? Because Peter Bosz is basically going to get sacked no matter what, because nobody expects anything from Dortmund anymore, because people expect the world out of Bayer Leverkusen given their record at home, and for a number of other reasons. And I might as well give you those reasons: Gotze is out injured, Aubameyang is going to miss the game with a red card, Marc Bartra apparently doesn't know how to play defense, and Dortmund has played horrible second halves lately while Bayer have played incredible second halves. I think that's about it. All of this has coincided with what one article called a "curse" for Pulisic that's existed since the US failed to qualify for the World Cup. I have just one thing to say about that: Fuck the World Cup. For now. The US was such a bad team, with so many underperforming players, that it was awful to watch them and they didn't deserve to go to the ...

Hey Pulisic fans, Man, what a rough stretch it's been. First this happened: New post (Christian Pulisic scratched from Dortmund squad with muscle injury) has been published on Fifa World Cup - https://t.co/ClVnwexzE9 pic.twitter.com/pA8n70KV3S — FIFA Events (@FIFA_Events) November 25, 2017 Then, Pulisic missed the next game against Tottenham, a game that didn't really matter as far as standings went but was huge for team morale. And guess what, CHA BOI (me) WAS AT THAT GAME! Yes, Pulisic fans, I actually went to a game. In Dortmund. I actually went to the city of Dortmund, and I actually had a ticket to the Borussia Dortmund vs. Tottenham game, and I actually went to the stadium, and I actually sat in a seat, and my eyes actually took in the game and the Yellow Wall and the fanfare and all of it. But, of course, Dortmund lost. And Pulisic didn't play. Luckily Pulisic was back for the Revierderby against Schalke, as evidenced here: 👇 Hier ist der Be...

Man, Dortmund goes on international break, I can't watch Pulisic for two weeks, and my life goes to shambles. A few things that happened (note: Not all are bad. I mean, I'm chilling in Europe. Last night I walked around mildly drunk on rosé in a town known for its medicinal spring waters): 1) Dortmund loses to Bayern Munich and goes on international break 2) I fly to Copenhagen two days later, spend a shit ton of money and smoke a shit ton of cigarettes and drink a shit ton of beers. I try to touch the leg of the girl I'm staying with who, at least at one point, I was pretty sure liked me, and she says, "What are you doing?" 3) Had dinner with ex-girlfriend in Berlin 4) Slept in same bed as different ex-girlfriend in Berlin (nothing happened. I must note here that this girl is awesome and I'm so glad we've rekindled our friendship. The few days with her and her brother in Berlin have been the best part of this trip by far). 5) Took a bus to Prag...

The first ever episode of Straight Outta Hershey, the first/only blog and now PODCAST dedicated to cha boi, Christian Pulisic.

Hello Pulisic Fans, And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey official preview for the Bundesliga Matchday 10 game between Hannover 96 and Borussia Dortmund. Today's preview will focus heavily on three things: 1) What will happen in the game, 2) What will happen with Christian Pulisic, and 3) Am I moving to Germany? But first, let's start with a GIF: It's been a quiet half for Christian Pulisic so far, but here is a gif of him faking out 2 #SGE players. #BVB #SGEBVB pic.twitter.com/uMuvGpL5I5 — GolazoJuice (@GolazoJuice) October 21, 2017 I'll give you a moment to collect your jaws off the floor or get the urine out of your boxers or whatever it is you need to do, and then we'll move forward. .... Good. What's so special about this GIF? The fact that it's really not that special . Pulisic does this kind of stuff all the time. And I love to use italics  because they make things so much more dramatic. But let's get away from Pulisic for...

This morning I got up to rain and wind here in Seattle. I should've known it was a presage of things to come. I went to the grocery store and had tea and wrote some letters. Basically, I was trying to kill time until 11:45am Pacific time, when Champions League started. And then it started. I'd downloaded Sling TV to be able to watch ESPN 3 and Borussia Dortmund vs. Apoel Nicosia, one of the top Cypriot clubs. The good thing about watching this game was I got to learn the word "Cypriot." The bad thing is it was an absolute abortion. A few times during the first half I actually said, in a loud voice in my living room, "This is an abortion." Other things I said: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" -- when Götze, Bartra, Yarmolenko, Toprak, Auba, Pulisic and Kagawa gave away the ball time after time after time. "YOU ARE FUCKING OLD AND SLOW." -- when Yarmolenko could've easily gotten to a ball but was too, well, old and slow ...

Today's game against Augsburg FC was a frustrating game for Pulisic fans. He started (whoopee!) on the left side, where he was heavily marked and received rare service from Jeremy Toljan, who seems hell-bent on not passing to our boy. He did have one great run where he cut up about four different Augsburg defenders, slicing through them like a meat-cleaver through a block of melting lard, then dished it to a teammate who promptly biffed it into an Augsburg defender. United-Fans get gassed when Martial does this once a month. Pulisic does this every single game. pic.twitter.com/dVzuOt2MUW — М.¹¹ (@SimpIyMarco) September 30, 2017 Then, once Yarmolenko came out (who had a decent game but spent a little too much time on the ground crying for my liking, and also tripped over the ball once, which is something I do all the time but I'm 34 and play for FC Aloneintherain), Pulisic moved over to the right where, as the announcers commented, he looked much more comfortable and dead...

Yesterday Borussia Dortmund hosted Borussia Mönchengladbach in Signal Iduna Park. Almost from the beginning die Schwarzgelben were obviously the stronger side, controlling possession but not making any real threats to score until 28' when Aubameyang made a perfect sliding cross to Philipp who made an even more perfect waist-high valley to take the ball across his body, past the keeper, and into the net. The thing that struck me about Philipp's volley was how casual  it looked. That was not an easy shot, but when you're young and play for one of the best teams in Europe you make those shots look easy. Philipp is dangerous. It will be interesting to see how much time he gets against Real Madrid on Tuesday, and how confident he looks against a powerhouse. Some other things from the match: Aubameyang looked incredible.  I hope he plays that well against Real Madrid, though I suspect he will; Aubameyang does not strike me as a streaky player; just all dangerous all the time...