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Indigestion, Weston McKennie Is a God, and Torn Calf Fibers

Hello friends and lovers,

And welcome to another rambling post from yours truly, Mark Thomas, dictator for life here at Straight Outta Hershey, the only damn blog in the damn universe dedicated to the one and only Christian Pulisic.

So I'm sitting in my Airbnb in Vienna, Austria right now, drinking a Turkish tea that the girl whose apartment this is made. Of course it's making me feel nauseous since I'm drinking it on an empty stomach. And now I've just switched the keyboard over to US English, which means the y and z keys are back where they're supposed to be, and this is contributing to my upset stomach. To top it all off I have dandruff. And my stomach is messed up from a weird doner I ate the other day. Or possibly some Tom Kha Gai soup. I'm not sure which one. But I'm in Vienna, and today I start level B1.2 of my intensive German course. Hell yeah. Intensive German. I hope there are some cuties in my class. I've sent about 20 messages on okcupid and gotten zero responses so far. Screw the new okcupid. Do I look like a goblin? I hope not.

If you're a Pulisic fan you've probably already heard the news, and if you haven't heard the news you're not a Pulisic fan, and if you're not a Pulisic fan it's hard for me to imagine what conceivable reasons you have for getting up in the morning. Christian Pulisic is injured. Yes, you heard it hear last, Christian Pulisic is injured. The reason it's taken me so long to post about it is this blog is not a news site. We're not about having the latest Christian Pulisic info. Other sites do that much better, like Fear the Wall and Goal.com. I actually write, or wrote, for Fear the Wall, but I haven't written for them in a long time. This is because when I write things for them I get nervous, it takes the fun out of writing, so I figure better to just write here.

Pulisic apparently has torn fibers in his calf. Whatever that means. So vague. Two torn fibers, or is he walking around with half his calf muscle ripped off, aka not walking? This is what I'd like to know, but I haven't been able to glean any more information. One thing that's a little weird: Christian's been injured right before the last two international breaks. Is this some conspiracy where Dortmund doesn't want him flying back to the US. Definitely not, since Christian is probably super bummed to have missed out on the all the awesome goal scoring and things like the Champions League and the cracker versus Augsburg. 

So Christian might be playing again against Stuttgart on the 20th, but maybe not. Meanwhile, as soon as Christian got injured, every other American in the Bundesliga started to catch fire. Weston McKennie scored the game winner against Moscow in the Champions League. And then he scored his first Bundesliga goal against Fortuna Dusseldorf. And then Bobby Wood scored a brace - two headers! - against Stuttgart. It was so good to see Bobby Wood's huge smile after his second goal against Stuttgart. Things haven't been all roses for Bobby Wood over the last year in the Bundesliga, and it's great for him to get that feeling back.


Hopefully this last twitter post works. Since I'm in Austria I can't watch content from Fox, which is OK, since I generally hate Fox, but maybe I'm just thinking of Fox News, which is probably completely different.

So that's it for today's Bundesliga roundup. I'm going to go to the bathroom and probably weep after that Turkish tea, and then head off to sprechen some Deutsch. I've been reading the sixth Harry Potter lately in German and it's actually going pretty well. I understand about 30%, which it turns out is more than enough. Once you know the word for magic wand you're pretty much set. 
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