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Christian Pulisic a Minor Deity?

Hello Pulisic fans, and welcome to your one stop shop for all things not only Pulisic but also related to other American stars in the great German league commonly referred to as Die Bundesliga. You’ll notice that the word Bundesliga in German is feminine. I bring this up only because German genders are hot on my mind right now, since I’m going to Austria in a week to further hone my German skills and one of the first things I’ll have to do there is take a placement test. Will watching countless Dortmund press conferences in German have paid off? Hopefully. Only time will tell.

Also, heute in Der Bundesliga....

Before we talk about CP, I want to talk about JS. Can someone please explain to me why Josh Sargent isn’t a regular starter for Werder Bremen yet? Oh, because of the great Max Kruse, who just had to be almost literally spoon fed to score his first Bundesliga goal since March? Does Florian Kohfeldt not realize that when Josh Sargent vaults himself out of bed every morning, scoring goals is almost an inevitability? Josh Sargent is a man child. He’s one of the most natural strikers in the Bundesliga, and yet they still have him on the second team, where games mean about as much as the amount of pesos I just paid for my recent dental cleaning where I currently am in Mexico. Guarantee: eventually Kohfeldt will play Sargent, and then he will have nightmares about how many more games Werder Bremen could have won had he played the 18 year old man monster sooner. Or maybe just likes losing. With Bundesliga coaches that’s always a distinct possibility. Bunch of weirdos.

And now back to Christian Mate Pulisic, the only conceivable reason most of us have for getting up in the morning. Yesterday I got back from a place with no internet and immediately tuned in to see that Christian had done what he does best, outworking people to score goals. From the looks of it Hoffenheim dominated Dortmund on Saturday, much like a sixth grader holding a second grader in a headlock and gently persuading him to give up his lunch money. After Diallo got a red card for having arms, Dortmund’s chances looked bad. But then out of nowhere came a kid from Hershey. A kid who’s no longer a kid. A man who’s no longer a man but possibly  a saint.

Excuse the dramatics. That’s kind of what we do here.

So Pulisic tied up the game on a gorgeous cross from the lilting-voiced Marco Reus. Dortmund fans spare having to contemplate suicide. And I get stoked after coming back from a few days of good waves and getting minor heat stroke.

On Wednesday Dortmund play Nuremberg. Are Nuremberg good? I have no idea. Will CP finally score a damn brace or have one of his fantastic dribbles lead to a goal? Please God yes.


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