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Showing posts from September, 2018

Player Ratings: Borussia Dortmund vs. Bayer Leverkusen (4-2)

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 Hello everybody! Hello Pulisic fans! Hello Jadon Sancho fans! Hello Marco Reus fans! Marius Wolf fans, you can find a different website, because there is nothing for you here! Mario Gotze fans, I wish there was something for you here, but because Lucien Favre seems to have some kind of vendetta against the metabolism problem-plagued Gotze, there's nothing for you here, either.

Whew. Let's get to the ratings.

Actually, first though, let's talk about my upcoming flight to VIENNA, AUSTRIA. I've put that in caps because I'm so damned excited. I'm going to be studying intensive German for TWO MONTHS! In a city I've NEVER BEEN TO BEFORE. Right next to SLOVAKIA! And HUNGARY!

God, Hungary girls look beautiful.

Anyway, now to the ratings. Actually though first what I REALLY wanted to comment about was how I'm flying Swiss Airways to Vienna and I really, really want to somehow upgrade to business or first class. I know the chances of this…

Dortmund Thrill vs. Leverkusen, Pulisic Not So Much

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Dortmund played Bayer Leverkusen today in Leverkusen in the most exciting match of matchday six. I didn't know how to feel about it, however, much like I don't know how I feel about this blog moving to I really don't like Wordpress themes. They all look the same. They're all ugly. And so I think I might be going back to Blogger. Hopefully you will follow me there. The reason I didn't know how to feel about today's game was because even though the game was thrilling, and Dortmund came from behind, and from a Dortmund fan perspective the game was a 10 out of 10, from a Pulisic fan perspective it was a bit of a letdown because not only did he not play that well, he was also was subbed off in the 60th minute. And so I felt kind of how a dad might feel if he was watching his son's violin concert, making eyes with the cute mom of the girl who plays the cello from across the aisle. On the one hand it's titillating, I mig…

Guns Blazing: Dortmund vs. Bayer Leverkusen Match Preview

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 Before we talk about tomorrow's showdown between Borussia Dortmund and Bayer Leverkusen, can we do one thing? Can we talk about how happy Christian Pulisic looks in the above picture? Look at him, sitting on the grass, wedged between Axel Witsel and Thomas Delaney. Look at the tattoo of a tiger on his forearm. Look at the fact that his entire left arm is tattooed, despite the fact he's only 20 years old. And of course look at the fact that he's 20, when just a few scant weeks ago he was only 19. Our Hershey-grown boy is all grown up, it would seem. On his own on the perilous ride that is the most prestigious of German leagues, die Bundesliga. Dortmund and Bayer are both on a bit of a hot streak. Dortmund because they just beat Nurnberg 16,000 to 0, and Bayer because they've won two in a row, against Mainz and against newly-promoted Fortuna Dusseldorf. The game will certainly be a departure from what happened in the Dortmund Nurberg game, if yo…

Finally Time? Josh Sargent and his imminent debut

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 Hello Pulisic Fans, And hello Josh Sargent fans, too. If you're a Pulisic fan, and you're American, you're probably also a Josh Sargent fan. You'd have to be a fool not to be. Josh Sargent is a man-beast from Missouri who likes nothing other than to have red hair and score goals. His trademark celebration is something at the same time badass, at the same time simple, and at the same time unequivocally American: the salute. [youtube] Wait, why did you just pass me the ball? Josh seems to be saying in this video. And then: I'm going to punish you. And then: I'm going to salute the crowd. And then: Tim Weah and I are going to hug and think about what a bright future the USMNT has, a future not marred by the presence of Michael Bradley, a future in which games against teams from small Caribbean islands will not be taken for granted, a future in which the US excels. But let's talk about …

Hopefully Pulisic: A Review of Dortmund vs. Nurnberg

Hey Pulisic fans,

Did Pulisic play soccer yesterday? I don't quite remember. I got up in the morning, went for a long jog, got the kids off to school, and then I just spent the whole rest of the day playing hearts and solitaire on the computer. At around 11:30am ODT time my leg started twitching, and I started breathing heavily, and I think I might've even started speaking in German, or maybe even Danish, but I wrote it off as some of the effects of the two months of sobriety I'm experiencing.

Actually, at approximately that time (more like 11:39am PDT), this was happening:
Jacob Bruun Larsen scores his first goal for Dortmund, but what about that set-up from Christian Pulisic? 👀

What an assist from the American! — FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) September 26, 2018 And of course I was watching it. In fact, I even got a trial subscription to YouTube TV just so I could get Fox Sports 2 and watch the showdown yesterday between Borussia Dortmund and FC Nu…

Match Preview: Dortmund vs FC Nurnberg

Hello Pulisic Fans,

And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey Preview for today's blockbuster match between Borussia Dortmund and newly-promoted FC Nurnberg. A few fun facts about Nurnberg: It's the second largest city in Bavaria after Munich; its golden age came in the 1400s; it held special significance during the German Nazi Era. So obviously the first thing isn't great, since Bayern Munich is the scourge of the Bundesliga with players like Robben and Ribery; and the third thing isn't great either, for obvious reasons. 
But let's talk about soccer. Let's talk about football. Let's talk about cricket. Let's talk about Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. And, maybe, let's talk about Christian Pulisic?  🤔 So könnten sie spielen. — Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) September 25, 2018 Here's how  BVB's twitter account thinks BVB could line up today against Nurnberg. I find this interesting. No Mo Dahoud? Lucien Favre LOVES Mo Dahoud…

Christian Pulisic a Minor Deity?

Kagawa wastes this great run and delivery by Pulisic.— Billy M (@Wideoverload) September 22, 2018 Hello Pulisic fans, and welcome to your one stop shop for all things not only Pulisic but also related to other American stars in the great German league commonly referred to as Die Bundesliga. You’ll notice that the word Bundesliga in German is feminine. I bring this up only because German genders are hot on my mind right now, since I’m going to Austria in a week to further hone my German skills and one of the first things I’ll have to do there is take a placement test. Will watching countless Dortmund press conferences in German have paid off? Hopefully. Only time will tell.

Also, heute in Der Bundesliga....
It’s one thing to learn German. It’s another to learn it so well you rock the full native accent. Not bad at all Mr. Pulisic— Ives Galarcep (@SoccerByIves) September 22, 2018
Before we talk about CP, I want to talk about JS. Can some…

Jah Bless Pulisic, Sargent.

Hey friends,

Guess what time it is? Time to get ultra fucking stoked, because today a special video came out: Christian Pulisic on Feiertagmagazin, speaking in German , generally being cooler than all of us. Case in point his outfit. Black shoes. A crisp white shirt. And a fucking black VEST. He looked like a blackjack dealer. A blackjack dealer who’s just turned 20, just scored a champions league goal, and is finally back after an agonizing two weeks of being out for an injury. Honestly christian appearing on is one of my favorite times of year.  What an inspiration, especially for someone (me) about to go to Austria to continue studying german. Now, you might be wondering: why Austria. Why not Germany? And that’s because it just felt right. I want to see what Austria’s all about. Hear the accent a bit. See Beethoven’s old stomping grounds. And of course try to make it to a BVB game.

Anyway, tomorrow.  Hoffenheim. Christian will probably start. Dahoud will probably start. Göt…

Josh Sargent Slated for First Team Start (and Pulisic injury speculation)

Let's talk about life goals today. Let's talk about Josh Sargent. Let's talk about Christian Pulisic. Let's talk about Weston McKennie. Let's talk about all the Young Americans currently making their presences felt in the Bundesliga. And let's also talk about surfing.

I've been following Josh Sargent at Werder Bremen over the past few months, wondering when he'll get his first first team start. He's been lighting shit up on the second team, with five goals in the last seven matches. And then, the other day, this happened:
Josh Sargent's goal for Werder's first team today.

Courtesy of u/DerUser-X on — USMNT Videos (@USMNTvideos) September 8, 2018 No, your eyes do not deceive you. Josh Sargent's first ever (as far as I can tell) goal for the first team at Werder Bremen. Florian Kohfeldt, the Bremen head coach, has been saying for awhile that Josh is getting groomed for his first first team start in an ac…