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Hello Pulisic Fans, And hello Josh Sargent fans, too. If you're a Pulisic fan, and you're American, you're probably also a Josh Sargent fan. You'd have to be a fool not to be. Josh Sargent is a man-beast from Missouri who likes nothing other than to have red hair and score goals. His trademark celebration is something at the same time badass, at the same time simple, and at the same time unequivocally American: the salute. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJKMkOsC9_o] Wait, why did you just pass me the ball? Josh seems to be saying in this video. And then: I'm going to punish you. And then: I'm going to salute the crowd. And then: Tim Weah and I are going to hug and think about what a bright future the USMNT has, a future not marred by the presence of Michael Bradley, a future in which games against teams from small Caribbean islands will not be taken for granted, a future in which the US excels. But let's talk about Josh Sargent's debut for Werder Bremen, which supposedly could happen any game now. According to Sport1, sporting director for Werder Bremen Thomas Schaaf said, "It will not be long. We know what we have with him." What I like about this quote is that it means Josh will be playing soon, but also that it's sort of wonderfully cryptic. "We know what we have with him." Do you know? If you did know he would've been playing more. Josh Sargent eats nails for breakfast. He wakes up in the morning and the first thing he does after showering with a brillo pad is score goals. I realize that scoring a slough of goals for the second team is not the same as performing for the first team. I realize Josh probably doesn't speak perfect German yet. I realize he probably barely speaks any German at all. I realize some of my ancestors got on a boat in Bremen in the 1800s and came to America. I realize my mom is from a town in Ohio called New Bremen. I realize I wanted to study German in Bremen this fall but there didn't seem to be any good schools so now I'm going to Vienna. I realize Josh is going to obliterate expectations people have on him. I realize Florian Kohfeldt will wake up in a year in a cold sweat, thinking, Why did I not play Josh Sargent sooner? Why? And then fall asleep sobbing. I realize Josh Sargent's debut is imminent. I'd just love to know exactly when. Alexi Lalas seemed to think it would happen last game against Hertha:
Hello Pulisic Fans, And hello Josh Sargent fans, too. If you're a Pulisic fan, and you're American, you're probably also a Josh Sargent fan. You'd have to be a fool not to be. Josh Sargent is a man-beast from Missouri who likes nothing other than to have red hair and score goals. His trademark celebration is something at the same time badass, at the same time simple, and at the same time unequivocally American: the salute. [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJKMkOsC9_o] Wait, why did you just pass me the ball? Josh seems to be saying in this video. And then: I'm going to punish you. And then: I'm going to salute the crowd. And then: Tim Weah and I are going to hug and think about what a bright future the USMNT has, a future not marred by the presence of Michael Bradley, a future in which games against teams from small Caribbean islands will not be taken for granted, a future in which the US excels. But let's talk about Josh Sargent's debut for Werder Bremen, which supposedly could happen any game now. According to Sport1, sporting director for Werder Bremen Thomas Schaaf said, "It will not be long. We know what we have with him." What I like about this quote is that it means Josh will be playing soon, but also that it's sort of wonderfully cryptic. "We know what we have with him." Do you know? If you did know he would've been playing more. Josh Sargent eats nails for breakfast. He wakes up in the morning and the first thing he does after showering with a brillo pad is score goals. I realize that scoring a slough of goals for the second team is not the same as performing for the first team. I realize Josh probably doesn't speak perfect German yet. I realize he probably barely speaks any German at all. I realize some of my ancestors got on a boat in Bremen in the 1800s and came to America. I realize my mom is from a town in Ohio called New Bremen. I realize I wanted to study German in Bremen this fall but there didn't seem to be any good schools so now I'm going to Vienna. I realize Josh is going to obliterate expectations people have on him. I realize Florian Kohfeldt will wake up in a year in a cold sweat, thinking, Why did I not play Josh Sargent sooner? Why? And then fall asleep sobbing. I realize Josh Sargent's debut is imminent. I'd just love to know exactly when. Alexi Lalas seemed to think it would happen last game against Hertha:
And seems to think that if it didn't happen then it will happen against Stuttgart tomorrow. Here's what I think: Josh Sargent will be in lineup tomorrow against Stuttgart. He'll be on the bench. He'll come in in the 80th minute. And, dragging four Stuttgart players behind him in the box, refusing to go down, refusing to solicit a penalty, he'll put the ball in the back of the net. But at the very least I hope he debuts.Soon. @AlexiLalas makes his prediction on Josh Sargent's first Bremen appearance. pic.twitter.com/NYX6mbWLgK— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) September 19, 2018
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