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Pulisic needs to score, I need to get a job

Hi, friends. I'm tired. I flew back from Germany the other day and am still adjusting. I saw Pulisic in person at the Dortmund Mainz game, in Mainz. It was incredible. He was about 40 feet away from me. And then Dortmund won.

And tomorrow, of course, Dortmund play Hoffenheim at home. I wrote a preview for this game on Fear the Wall and I'm a little ashamed of it. Feel like I was trying too hard. But that's natural when you just start writing for a publication. You want to impress. And in my case, you want people to laugh. The key is to not try TOO hard.

I will also be tweeting the game for Fear the Wall tomorrow if any of you would like to follow along.

But wow, Christian Pulisic. US male soccer player of the year! Not that there was anyone else remotely in the runnings. I would be curious to know who the other 6% voted for. I'm sure there are some sick weirdos who voted for Michael Bradley. Maybe some Dempsey voters. Maybe someone who accidentally penciled in the wrong name and wrote Bobby Wood or Jozy Altidore. Who knows. Josh Sargent? Can't wait to see Josh Sargent at Werder Bremen. Kid's got red hair.

I really, really, really, really, really want Pulisic to score or get an assist tomorrow. Here's what I want for Christmas: For Pulisic to score or assist in both the Hoffenheim and the Bayern game. That's it. Oh, and also to get a job. Because I'm unemployed. And I need a job. Can I work for the Bundesliga? Can I be Christian Pulisic's personal assistant? Can I just be a salaried writer at Sports Illustrated or ESPN? Please?

It's 6:39pm and I'm already thinking about bed. Dortmund play tomorrow! And so do Tottenham vs. Man City. Wow. Maybe that's all I need for Christmas. 


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