Skip to main content

Christian Pulisic Misses Salzburg Match with Non-Terminal Illness

Dortmund rolled into Salzburg today to compete for a spot in the Europa League Round of 8 conspicuously absent one key player.
Christian Pulisic apparently has the flu, which I don't believe, since I don't believe Christian Pulisic gets sick. I mean, Michael Jordan played through the flu before, and I'm not comparing CP to Michael Jordan, but the kid can dunk. 
(I dunked once in warm-ups before a rec league basketball game in high school. It was the only time I ever dunked in my illustrious basketball career. Most of the other times I stuck to left-handed layups.)

Dortmund played the opposite of good today, which, unless my English fails me, is bad. If I had to do player ratings for the game I'd give everyone a zero, and I'd give Alexander Isak a -2 simply for not weighing enough. Isak needs to hit the weight room, lest he be carried away by the wind.

(Burki played well.)

People were down on Christian Pulisic for most of the month of February, citing a lack of form. But now that he seems to be playing well again the hype train is speeding out of control, and threatening to reach terminal velocity. Being the hope of a nation would ruin most players. Thankfully, CP seems to have a good head on his shoulders.

Unfortunately, this hype train cannot be stopped. I certainly won't try to stop it.

The next station is Hannover 96, a team known for....Is Hannover known for anything? Hopefully Pulisic will be healthy again, starting, beating people, assisting, and maybe even scoring.

For now all we can hope is that he's somewhere warm, sheltered from the elements, drinking ingwer tee and getting plenty of rest. When you're the hope of a nation, plenty of rest is critical.

Choo choo!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Match Preview: Dortmund vs FC Nurnberg

Hello Pulisic Fans,

And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey Preview for today's blockbuster match between Borussia Dortmund and newly-promoted FC Nurnberg. A few fun facts about Nurnberg: It's the second largest city in Bavaria after Munich; its golden age came in the 1400s; it held special significance during the German Nazi Era. So obviously the first thing isn't great, since Bayern Munich is the scourge of the Bundesliga with players like Robben and Ribery; and the third thing isn't great either, for obvious reasons. 
But let's talk about soccer. Let's talk about football. Let's talk about cricket. Let's talk about Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. And, maybe, let's talk about Christian Pulisic?  🤔 So könnten sie spielen. #BVBFCNpic.twitter.com/d4UJ7QZg2n — Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) September 25, 2018 Here's how  BVB's twitter account thinks BVB could line up today against Nurnberg. I find this interesting. No Mo Dahoud? Lucien Favre LOVES Mo Dahoud…

Pulisic needs to score, I need to get a job

Hi, friends. I'm tired. I flew back from Germany the other day and am still adjusting. I saw Pulisic in person at the Dortmund Mainz game, in Mainz. It was incredible. He was about 40 feet away from me. And then Dortmund won.
Here's Pulisic knifing through four defenders and slipping Kagawa into the box for a great chance pic.twitter.com/Q5bVimFnrd — Scuffed (@zlebmada) December 6, 2017

And tomorrow, of course, Dortmund play Hoffenheim at home. I wrote a preview for this game on Fear the Wall and I'm a little ashamed of it. Feel like I was trying too hard. But that's natural when you just start writing for a publication. You want to impress. And in my case, you want people to laugh. The key is to not try TOO hard.

I will also be tweeting the game for Fear the Wall tomorrow if any of you would like to follow along.

But wow, Christian Pulisic. US male soccer player of the year! Not that there was anyone else remotely in the runnings. I would be curious to know who the o…