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Leverkusen vs. Dortmund Preview: Pulisic is Due

Tomorrow is the day Dortmund are finally going to turn it all around. Why? Because Peter Bosz is basically going to get sacked no matter what, because nobody expects anything from Dortmund anymore, because people expect the world out of Bayer Leverkusen given their record at home, and for a number of other reasons. And I might as well give you those reasons: Gotze is out injured, Aubameyang is going to miss the game with a red card, Marc Bartra apparently doesn't know how to play defense, and Dortmund has played horrible second halves lately while Bayer have played incredible second halves. I think that's about it.

All of this has coincided with what one article called a "curse" for Pulisic that's existed since the US failed to qualify for the World Cup. I have just one thing to say about that: Fuck the World Cup. For now. The US was such a bad team, with so many underperforming players, that it was awful to watch them and they didn't deserve to go to the World Cup. I don't want to watch Michael Bradley play ever again, let alone on the world's biggest stage. I don't need to see Jozy Altidore or Graham Zusi. When I watch the US again, I want to see Kellyn Acosta and Weston McKennie and Haji Wright and Josh Sergeant and...that's about it. I want to see anyone young and full of passion instead of a bunch of apathetic old men.

Oh yeah, and I also want to see Christian Pulisic.

BUT ANYWAY, back to the Leverkusen game. Got a little distracted. It happens when you're in Spain and you've been out drinking and you're thinking about all the beautiful Spanish girls you just saw you didn't talk to and will never talk to in your life.

I might need to go out and smoke a cigarette. I'm going to Morocco the day after tomorrow. What do you think about that? What do you think about it? Do you think about it? Do you think about anything?

You know what I would love to see in the game tomorrow? Jadon Sancho or Isak starting at center forward. It won't happen, of course, because Bosz is a jackass, but I would love to see it. Instead Yarmolenko or Philipp will start in center forward, or there won't be a center forward. If Castro starts tomorrow I'm going to drown myself, that's all there is to it.

But BVB are going to win tomorrow. You heard it here first, you heard it here in the middle, and you heard it here last.

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....

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