Skip to main content

Christian Pulisic injury and the real reason he's so good



Apparently Christian Pulisic is injured. Which I find interesting, because how can you injure someone whose flesh and blood are not of this world? To injure Christian Pulisic you'd have to touch him, and I've seen what happens when defenders try to touch Christian Pulisic. Generally the ball goes through their legs or they fall down or, in the rare cases when they do lay a by comparison leprous arm on him, they concede some kind of free kick in a dangerous era. So I don't know about this supposed shin injury. And if he is injured, I doubt it happened on the pitch. I bet Isak was playing a prank on him or something like that. Maybe Aubameyang. But I'd bet dollars to proverbial donuts he's not actually injured.

His presence was of course missed on the field against Wolfsburg yesterday, though his replacement, Jadon Sancho, killed it. I didn't know Jadon Sancho was that good. I'd seen him his first time on the field, but that was only a few minutes. I sincerely hope Jadon Sancho gets more playing time. I hope Pulisic starts in Yarmolenko's place on the right side, and Sancho and Toljan/Schmelzer combine for beautiful runs on the left, and Pulisic and Piszczek combine for beautiful runs on the right. How wonderful was it having Piszczek back in the lineup. He made most of the other players on the field look like children. He was a beast. One of his throw-ins must've been at least 60 yards (give or take).

The last thing I want to comment on in this post is the above video. The most interesting thing about this video is not the subject matter. Debate? What debate? There is no debate. Messi is worlds better than Ronaldo, and that is not opinion, that is not subjective, that's fact, like that fact that rocks are hard and Hannah Ferguson makes me almost go into cardiac arrest when I see her in a bikini. No, the debate is a tired subject. What's interesting about the video is that, despite being asked that question countless times, and despite being asked if Pulisic thinks he could be the next Messi, he takes it in stride. He acts like that's the first time he's ever heard that question. He handles the situation gracefully, tactfully.

And that's why CP is so damn good.

That's why.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Christian Pulisic and Gordon Lightfoot and Revierderby Woes

Hey Pulisic fans,

Man, what a rough stretch it's been. First this happened:
New post (Christian Pulisic scratched from Dortmund squad with muscle injury) has been published on Fifa World Cup - https://t.co/ClVnwexzE9pic.twitter.com/pA8n70KV3S — FIFA Events (@FIFA_Events) November 25, 2017 Then, Pulisic missed the next game against Tottenham, a game that didn't really matter as far as standings went but was huge for team morale. And guess what, CHA BOI (me) WAS AT THAT GAME!

Yes, Pulisic fans, I actually went to a game. In Dortmund. I actually went to the city of Dortmund, and I actually had a ticket to the Borussia Dortmund vs. Tottenham game, and I actually went to the stadium, and I actually sat in a seat, and my eyes actually took in the game and the Yellow Wall and the fanfare and all of it.

But, of course, Dortmund lost. And Pulisic didn't play.



Luckily Pulisic was back for the Revierderby against Schalke, as evidenced here:
👇 Hier ist der Beweis! #LTpic.twitter.…

Leverkusen vs. Dortmund Preview: Pulisic is Due

Tomorrow is the day Dortmund are finally going to turn it all around. Why? Because Peter Bosz is basically going to get sacked no matter what, because nobody expects anything from Dortmund anymore, because people expect the world out of Bayer Leverkusen given their record at home, and for a number of other reasons. And I might as well give you those reasons: Gotze is out injured, Aubameyang is going to miss the game with a red card, Marc Bartra apparently doesn't know how to play defense, and Dortmund has played horrible second halves lately while Bayer have played incredible second halves. I think that's about it.

All of this has coincided with what one article called a "curse" for Pulisic that's existed since the US failed to qualify for the World Cup. I have just one thing to say about that: Fuck the World Cup. For now. The US was such a bad team, with so many underperforming players, that it was awful to watch them and they didn't deserve to go to the Wo…

Dortmund vs. Hannover preview, Should Pulisic replace Angela Merkel as chancellor of Germany?

Hello Pulisic Fans,

And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey official preview for the Bundesliga Matchday 10 game between Hannover 96 and Borussia Dortmund. Today's preview will focus heavily on three things: 1) What will happen in the game, 2) What will happen with Christian Pulisic, and 3) Am I moving to Germany?

But first, let's start with a GIF: It's been a quiet half for Christian Pulisic so far, but here is a gif of him faking out 2 #SGE players. #BVB#SGEBVBpic.twitter.com/uMuvGpL5I5 — GolazoJuice (@GolazoJuice) October 21, 2017 I'll give you a moment to collect your jaws off the floor or get the urine out of your boxers or whatever it is you need to do, and then we'll move forward.

....

Good. What's so special about this GIF? The fact that it's really not that special. Pulisic does this kind of stuff all the time. And I love to use italics because they make things so much more dramatic.

But let's get away from Pulisic for just a moment and talk…