Skip to main content

Dortmund vs. Hannover preview, Should Pulisic replace Angela Merkel as chancellor of Germany?

Hello Pulisic Fans,

And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey official preview for the Bundesliga Matchday 10 game between Hannover 96 and Borussia Dortmund. Today's preview will focus heavily on three things: 1) What will happen in the game, 2) What will happen with Christian Pulisic, and 3) Am I moving to Germany?

But first, let's start with a GIF:
I'll give you a moment to collect your jaws off the floor or get the urine out of your boxers or whatever it is you need to do, and then we'll move forward.


Good. What's so special about this GIF? The fact that it's really not that special. Pulisic does this kind of stuff all the time. And I love to use italics because they make things so much more dramatic.

But let's get away from Pulisic for just a moment and talk about Borussia Dortmund as a whole. How are they doing? What do they need to improve on? How does the outlook for the next few games look? Will I marry a German girl and spend the rest of my days gardening and eating vollkorn bread?

First of all, the defense, and Peter Bosz's "system," is still displaying massive problems, which could easily be seen in the last games against Leipzig, Apoel Nicosia, and Frankfurt. Did BVB play better against Magdeburg? Maybe. I only watched the first half where they were playing fairly awfully, but it sounds like they got their act together in the second half. People say the game was intense, that Magdeburg is good, and blah blah blah, but let's be real, Magdeburg is a 3rd division team. How much can you really take away from this victory? Results have shown the following: Bosz's system works against crappy teams, and gets destroyed by the good ones. Will he continue to pound a square peg into a round hole against Hannover, Apoel, and Bayern? Will he make changes? Or will the return of players like Schmelzer and Gueirrero make those changes not necessary? Hannover should be very, very telling. But, of course, the match against Bayern on November 4th will be even more telling. Dortmund has failed every "test" so far, against Tottenham, Real Madrid, and most recently against Leipzig.

Now, onto Pulisic. Deep breath, because I get excited and there's so much to talk about and I don't even know what to do or what to say and I'm wearing a BVB shirt right now but it's kinda dirty and I just drank some tea and I'm hyperventilating and oh god oh god will Pulisic start against Hannover and will he finally score again or dribble past some people and score or get an assist and will Auba finally finish one of Pulisic's beautiful passes and what is the meaning of life and what should I seek in this life and why are things so complicated and should I just go to Germany or should I actually move there and should I get tickets to the Tottenham game on November 21st?


Let's look at another Pulisic GIF and regroup:

OK, so, the official Bundesliga website predicts Pulisic will start alongside Aubameyang and Yarmolenko, but they've gotten pretty much every lineup prediction wrong so far. However, I don't think they'll get this one wrong, since Pulisic didn't start in the last game. Which means he'll either start up on the left in place of Philipp, or up on the right in place of Yarmolenko. What I would LOVE to see Bosz do, and I've spoken of this before, is play Pulisic in a central role, where he's proven deadly. But will Bosz do this? Doubtful.

(Pulisic being deadly in the middle):

What would I like to see from Pulisic in this game? I would like to see him be even more attack minded, and even more selfish. I know some people have a problem with Pulisic when he tries to take on three or four defenders and gives the ball up, and I understand that. When I say selfish I mean taking shots. Pulisic has had the ball on the outside of the 18 countless times this year, and he almost always looks for the pass. What I would like to see him do is take that last step and let it rip (which he has done a couple times, of course). I don't want him to be as selfish as Cristiano Ronaldo, but hey, let's face it, the best goal scorers are pretty selfish.

Predictions? I think it will be a bit like the Magdeburg game. I think BVB will start off a bit slow but then the first goal will open the floodgates. Aubameyang needs to be on his game, and hopefully his recent rest will encourage that. Final score? 4-1, Dortmund.

But for now I have to stop typing. And I also have to pee.

That black tea goes right through you, you know.

See you on Saturday after the match.


Popular posts from this blog

Christian Pulisic Misses Salzburg Match with Non-Terminal Illness

Dortmund rolled into Salzburg today to compete for a spot in the Europa League Round of 8 conspicuously absent one key player.
Looks like Pulisic has flu and Toprak is out with a muscle problem #BVB#FCSBVB — BVB Buzz (@BVBBuzz) March 15, 2018 Christian Pulisic apparently has the flu, which I don't believe, since I don't believe Christian Pulisic gets sick. I mean, Michael Jordan played through the flu before, and I'm not comparing CP to Michael Jordan, but the kid can dunk.  Pulisic: People doubt me, but I can dunk!!? — Dave Masters (@davemasters) January 11, 2018 (I dunked once in warm-ups before a rec league basketball game in high school. It was the only time I ever dunked in my illustrious basketball career. Most of the other times I stuck to left-handed layups.)

Dortmund played the opposite of good today, which, unless my English fails me, is bad. If I h…

Match Preview: Dortmund vs FC Nurnberg

Hello Pulisic Fans,

And welcome to the Straight Outta Hershey Preview for today's blockbuster match between Borussia Dortmund and newly-promoted FC Nurnberg. A few fun facts about Nurnberg: It's the second largest city in Bavaria after Munich; its golden age came in the 1400s; it held special significance during the German Nazi Era. So obviously the first thing isn't great, since Bayern Munich is the scourge of the Bundesliga with players like Robben and Ribery; and the third thing isn't great either, for obvious reasons. 
But let's talk about soccer. Let's talk about football. Let's talk about cricket. Let's talk about Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. And, maybe, let's talk about Christian Pulisic?  🤔 So könnten sie spielen. — Borussia Dortmund (@BVB) September 25, 2018 Here's how  BVB's twitter account thinks BVB could line up today against Nurnberg. I find this interesting. No Mo Dahoud? Lucien Favre LOVES Mo Dahoud…

Pulisic needs to score, I need to get a job

Hi, friends. I'm tired. I flew back from Germany the other day and am still adjusting. I saw Pulisic in person at the Dortmund Mainz game, in Mainz. It was incredible. He was about 40 feet away from me. And then Dortmund won.
Here's Pulisic knifing through four defenders and slipping Kagawa into the box for a great chance — Scuffed (@zlebmada) December 6, 2017

And tomorrow, of course, Dortmund play Hoffenheim at home. I wrote a preview for this game on Fear the Wall and I'm a little ashamed of it. Feel like I was trying too hard. But that's natural when you just start writing for a publication. You want to impress. And in my case, you want people to laugh. The key is to not try TOO hard.

I will also be tweeting the game for Fear the Wall tomorrow if any of you would like to follow along.

But wow, Christian Pulisic. US male soccer player of the year! Not that there was anyone else remotely in the runnings. I would be curious to know who the o…