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Will Pulisic start against Apoel Nicosia? and a (fake) quote from Kim Jong Un

Hello all,

And welcome to the Christian Pulisic Show, aka life. If you've ever watched Christian Pulisic play soccer you've realized the following is pretty much true: It's Christian Pulisic's world; we're just living in it.

ANYWAY, I'm here today to talk to you about the upcoming match between BVB and Apoel Nicosia tomorrow. Last time I checked this game had massive worldwide implications, and not just for soccer. It has been reported (it has not been reported in any way) that if Christian Pulisic scores, Kim Jong Un will "dismantle all nuclear weapons and throw a party in which he will sacrifice a goat."

"Also, I'll let Americans come to North Korea visa free," he added.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump tweeted (he absolutely did not tweet), "If Peter Bosz doesn't start Pulisic tomorrow I'm going to talk to Merkel about getting him extradited to the Netherlands. Or maybe to the US so we can take him down to Guantanamo."

Trump was later spotted attempting to do the Macarena.

In all seriousness, Pulisic should start tomorrow, since he didn't start against Leipzig, and that's seemed to have been Bosz's MO, i.e. a little round robin with Maximilian Philipp, Yarmolenko, and our boi. I understand Bosz's conundrum given the dearth of talent, but at some point it's gonna be like, Hey, brother, make up your Dutch-ass mind.

Dortmund are in Cyprus training right now, as evidenced by these photos. ESPN published an article talking about how questions are being asked about Bosz's defensive strategies, and rightfully so. Dortmund has failed so far in any real test, be it in the Bundesliga or in Champions League. They need to win tomorrow to show they're not complete failures, but a win tomorrow won't prove much. To really prove themselves they need to beat Bayern on November 4th and/or Tottenham at home on November 21st. Fail in these contests and Dortmund will be exposed for what they might really be: a slightly-above-average team.

But obviously any team with CP ain't gonna be just slightly above average.

Predictions for tomorrow: Pulisic, Auba and Philipp up top. Kagawa in the midfield somewhere. Toljan getting a chance for redemption in the back.

Score: 2-1 Dortmund. Pulisic with an assist.

Los geht's.


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