Paco Alcacer, Christian Pulisic, and Shinji Kagawa are all not in Borussia Dortmund's squad for their game in Hannover on Friday. Alcacer and Pulisic face fitness problems, while Kagawa could leave on deadline day. #BVB— Ronan Murphy (@swearimnotpaul) August 30, 2018
Hello, Pulisic fans, and welcome back to the Christian Pulisic Blog, Straight Outta Hershey. This is the most award-winning Christian Pulisic blog on the planet, keeping in mind that it's never won any awards and also that it's the only Christian Pulisic blog on the planet. Thank you all for your wonderful support. Let's get down to business.
Christian Pulisic is not playing against Hannover today. I repeat: CP is not playing. If you haven't already wept because of this news, I'll give you a few moment to do so. The reason he's not playing are apparent "muscular problems." I have no idea what this means. Did he pull a muscle? Did he tear a muscle? Does he have shin splints? I can't really imagine any scenario in which Christian himself would say, "Look, guys, my hammy kinda hurts, so I don't think I should play." I can only imagine him not playing is the work of machinations springing from the coaching staff, and possibly bent on ensuring my sadness.
Either way, I'm going to watch the game today. Does this mean I'm a true Dortmund fan? Sort of. I like Jadon Sancho. I like Marco Reus. Hell, I even like Mario Gotze now that he doesn't seem quite as slow and bad as he seemed last year. It also behooves the CP fan to root for Dortmund regardless of whether or not CP plays, since it will be much more exciting and fulfilling to watch CP play for a Dortmund that's actually good, instead of one that struggled as hard as it did last year.
That said, will I go to any games this year? The answer? Probably. I've already got my sights set on the Dortmund Monaco game in Monaco in December. Mostly because Monaco is sick. I went there a last year and enjoyed walking the winding streets, seeing the fancy cars, looking down at the blue waters of the Mediterranean.
But enough about me. How did CP play against Leipzig in the first game of the season? Answer: Not that well. In fact, the "penalty" he drew that set up Marco Reus's freekick goal looked like an outright dive. I don't want Christian Pulisic to be a diver. There is almost nothing in this world I less want. But to really confirm that I'd have to watch the footage again from multiple angles and in slow motion. In real time it looked like a legit foul. But in the replays....
So there you have it, Pulisic fans. The Straight Outta Hershey blog is back. A new Bundesliga season is upon us. And you can find me here, every step of the way, supporting cha boi.
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